There seem to be a lot of references to food in fashion these days, such as the supermarket in the Chanel show. Is it now fashionable to eat?

Ha ha ha – you funny! Yeah, SURE eating is fashionable, Charlotte, if by “eating” you mean “counting chia seeds, calculating your glycemic load and banging on about how you let your children eat absolutely anything as long as it has no sugar”. Sure, that’s totally fashionable! But eating anything your grandparents would recognise as actual food? No – that will never be fashionable, not even among the Cool Girls. The Cool Girl is a species identified in the best bit of Gillian Flynn’s mega-seller Gone Girl, which refers to a woman who insists she’s not like other women – instead, she’s a man’s fantasy. So as well as loving “football, poker, dirty jokes and burping”, the Cool Girl “jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth … while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot”.

Kate Moss is undoubtedly fashion’s ultimate Cool Girl, with her love of all things mucky and messy, but even she comes out with Karl Lagerfeld-lite anti-food epigrams such as: “Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.” Cara Delevingne and Jourdan Dunn are doing their best to be the Cool Girls these days, but not even they have been able to knock “miserable self-denial” off the top perch in the old “What looks fashionable now” charts. I blame Lagerfeld. And Gwyneth Paltrow.

But to your point about food, Charlotte: truly, junk food will be the hottest trend next season. As you say, there was the Chanel show last month, which took place in a phoney supermarket in which all the products were Chanel-branded (French for “carb-free”). At the Moschino show, designer Jeremy Scott, a man for whom the phrase “bad taste” is merely another way of saying “awesome taste!”, had some models dressed like McDonald’s employees and others in gowns that appeared to be made out of giant chocolate bars. Accessories designer Charlotte Olympia has made handbags for next season that resemble Chinese takeaway boxes, while Anya Hindmarch has got ahead of the trend by making handbags that look like crumpled crisp packets for this season. And if you think no one would buy an empty crisp-packet-shaped handbag that costs £995, then you don’t know fashion.

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